Acceptance of Spouses Outside the Faith, Taboos and Traditions

Unfortunately a problem has developed within our church, one that is extremely short sighted. Most Adventist families hold the view that you must marry within your faith. The sad side of this paradigm is the fact that this is held up as the most important factor when choosing a spouse in many cases (or close to the most important factor). In reality, marrying someone within your faith does not guarantee a happy or successful life or marriage. Scripture is often twisted and used as a justification of this paradigm when in reality the Bible says little on this topic. Clearly it is an added benefit to marry within your group of faith, but is it a necessary requirement for a happy and successful marriage? I tend to think not. I believe the issue should be a consideration, but NOT the focal point of choosing a spouse. Far more factors that truly matter exist in this realm. I think we as christians need to look at the heart and not the outward display. Keeping matters of character first, and worrying about idealogical differences second.



Interracial marriage is at an all time high of acceptance for blacks and whites, which has until recently been the most frowned upon interracial union. Many state laws were in place until recent years barring “colored” and white people to … Continue reading

Interracial Marriage Report and Findings

The topic of interracial marriage brings up many opinions and strong feelings when discussed in many circles within America today. Considering that the supreme court legalized interracial marriage in 1967, this issue of equality is still relatively new. This came after many of the civil rights advances of the 1960’s. It is no shock that many Americans, particularly of older generations are somewhat opposed to the rise of inter mixed couples. The prevalent racism that exists within older generations in America still effects family units and their ability to function happily. Fortunately the attitudes of the bigoted individuals have not held this back.



As seen in the above graph, according to Gallup poll over the last roughly 40 years more people have begun to approve of interracial marriage and less overall disapprove respectively. However, these statistics may not take into account the high level of endogamy within certain ethnic groups such as Arabs and Native American cultures. Even though these ethnic groups represent a relatively small number of total interracial marriages. Also certain cultural groups have a much more closed mind about marrying outside of their race. All these factors increase the complexity of marrying outside your own race and trying to embrace the differences of another. Interracial marriage has implications that reach far beyond simple skin color differences. This is simply not the case, most often there are major cultural implications when to families fuse together. This is true even within normal same race families.

Trends have shown a steady increase in interracial marriage over the last 40 years, and also an increasing


approval rating for those in such relationships. Now approximately 1 in 6 new marriages are now interracial/different ethnic identity. I believe these statistics reveal a more open minded society and hopefully racial equality and progress. The implications on the family from interracial marriage are many. Fusing to homes and cultures together from completely different worlds will no doubt be a challenge for those who undertake such.  Communication styles and expression will be drastically different between races. It is not that one culture is “right” or “wrong” in their style of expressing themselves, it is just a difference that has to be adjusted for within the home. This may explain the higher interracial cohabitation than interracial marriage rate, as many people may not wish to deal with all the issues associated with a formal marriage to someone outside of their race. Also, extended families may look more favorably upon a non official marriage, if there are pre disposed negative racial opinions in the family. Interracial marriage undoubtedly has its challenges, but who can argue with love. If you truly care about someone and wish to be with them more than anything, race, skin color, culture and any potential issue, should not get in the way of your relationship. Love does not have clauses that preclude you to being apart of someone’s life and I honestly believe that an open mindset is absolutely key to a successful love life and finding the partner of your dreams.

In conclusion, interracial couples can take hope for the fact that society is more accepting than ever and that families are becoming more united around the idea of marriage to different cultures and ethnicities. Great strides have been made and will continue to be made in this area.







Gallup Polls, 2008. (Gallup Inc.)

The PEW Research Center

Addiction and Stress in the Family

The correlation between stress and addiction in the family is undeniable. Countless studies have shown how an increase in stress increases the risk of addictions in all ages. Unfortunately addictions have an incredibly devastating toll on the family. Drugs, alcohol, sex addictions, gambling and other problems wreck families on a consistent basis. The hormones secreted that are caused by stress are initially to deal with a stimuli that is to much for our body to handle on its own. So our bodies try to compensate for that, unfortunately our bodies cannot sustain themselves for prolonged periods of time like this. So mentally we seek to recharge ourselves and to make ourselves feel better. However the addiction only strings along the user, making them believe each “fix” will be the last they need. 

Sadly, these addictions take a devastating toll on family, especially children. As they are often the ones most dramatically effected by the lack of their parents responsibility. Neglect and abuse often go hand in hand with addiction, which is all to often caused by stressors that are not dealt with responsibly.

Relationship Preservation and the importance of perspective

Relationships all have inevitable highs and lows and there can be no doubt that we will all experience less than favorable feelings in a relationship at some point. However when these hard moments come upon us, I believe that we each still have a choice. A moment where we can decide how we are going to proceed, if we are going to stay strong or let life push us. This is where I believe the relational maintenance strategy of positivity  comes into play. We all face times where it easy to let ourselves self pity and become negative and have a depressed view of life. Consequentially effecting the way we treat our significant others and those close to us in a negative and destructive manner. 

If couples take the time to view things in a proactive manner, meaning they keep strong to their principles instead of their feelings, the relationship will continue to grow and prosper for years to come. The key is to remain principle centered instead and keep a positive perspective. Remember the things about your significant other that brought you together in the first place.